Monday, February 18, 2008

Just when things were getting alittle better......

I have to had it to the advasary, he is doing a fine job and bringin me down and making me absolutley miserable. As many have known, Dennis and I found out last September that we aren't able to have children of our own but we are still holding on to that glimmer of hope, that miracle some wish for. Life has been extremely difficult since that day, 2 weeks before out 2nd annivesary- I would say much harder since Dennis and I have grown up together, been high school sweeties and best friends since the day we laid eyes on each other. My biggest frustration is that fact that everyone under the sun (including my little sis that I found out about today) is expecting! I can't escape it, I really can't. Just when I start to get over it someone informs me of their good news. The hardest part for me is that I am such a caring person and have the best friends in the world, yet I can't be happy for them and it's killing me. I have NO ONE to talk to about this whole ordeal because they are all pregnant and I don't want them to feel sorry for me, I just need someone who understands where I am coming from. So I have just been keeping it all inside because I don't want anyone to feel bad for me but at the same time one can only keep it in for so long. So today my sister calls in the middle of a break at a meeting at work and informs me that her husband of not evern a year and she are preggos. First, they are living in my uncles office, don't have insurance and fight quite often. I ask Why do they deserve a child and not me? Why me? I have always been a good girl, played by the rules, held the idea of family sacred to my heart even though I grew up in a broken family (if you can even call it that?) and this is what I get. Why does God allow the people who don't deserve a child to have one yet those who are ready and willing and have that capacity to love don't get that opportunity. You constantly here about parents killing their children yet I would give my life to have a child of my own.
It'e even harder because I feel like someone is missing. I feel like their is a spirit up there waiting for us and maybe their is and he/she will be sent to us one day but it hurts because their is a closeness that a husband and wife have when they share and child together and Dennis and I will never be able to experience that kind of connection and it breaks my heart.

So, if you are reading this please don't feel sorry for me but keep me in your prayers because having my family values and knowing what I know about families and the spiritual aspect , it is really pulling at my testimony of the gospel right now.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Book of Mormon Challenge

President Hinckley often stressed our making the Book of Mormon part of our lives. He was 97 when he passed away, and we would like to celebrate his life and teachings by reading the Book of Mormon in 97 days.

President Gordon B. Hinckley on the Book of Mormon
"I take in my hand the Book of Mormon. I read its words. I have read Joseph Smith's explanation of how it came to be. To the unbelieving it is a story difficult to accept, and critics for generations have worn out their lives writing books intended to refute that story and to offer other explanations than the one given by Joseph the Prophet. But to the open-minded, this critical writing has only stimulated them to dig deeper; and the more deeply they dig, the greater the accumulation of evidence for the validity of Joseph Smith's story. Still, as has been demonstrated for a hundred and fifty years, the truth of the Book of Mormon will not be determined by literary analysis or by scientific research, although these continue to be reassuring. The truth about the origins of the Book of Mormon will be determined today and tomorrow, as it has been throughout the yesterdays, by reading the book in a spirit of reverence and respect and prayer."

I have joined the 28,000 others in the challenge of reading the Book of Mormon is 97 days in memory of President Hinckley. Here's a link to the site if you are interested in joining in.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Oops, I forgot some resolutions

After reading my friend Sarah's blog, I realized that I forgot to put some stuff on my list (inspired by Sarah of course)

Health is going to be the major focus of 2008 for the Larson family. We would like to exercise more than we do and lose a couple extra pounds gained from these wonderful years of marriage.
I too need to eat more fruits and veggies daily (sometimes I go days without consuming either!)

Financially- all I can say is that we would like some more financial freedom this year. We hope to go on a vacation and finally take our "honeymoon" this year.

Be happier- to define this more so you don't think I am not happy. I don't want to let stuff get to me like I used to in the past. So what if my students are little rug rats one day or my boss doesn't know what the heck she is doing or my parents act like children... its worth getting so stressed out about. Let the good times roll I guess.