So I went to the doc today for my long over due physical. I lost some sleep lastnight worried about having to get my blood taken. For those who don't know, I am a major baby when it comes to blood and needles, can't believe there was a point in life that I wanted to be a Dr., Lord knows I wouldn't have survived! So I got off work early and went up to Geneva to my appt. and was informed that they just needed to prick my finger, allelujah!! I had even worked up my courage on the way there and didn't even feel sick before finding out that I wouldn't have to get a needle jabbed into my arm and sit there while they take my precious blood. Needless or needless to day, I was totally fine with the finger prick but a little bummed that I couldn't get my flu shot because I have a slight fever and my doc, suggested not getting it today because I had been feeling a little under the weather. I guess it's a good thing I'm not Bella! lol :)
My favorite season is here and I am so surprised at how fast the leaves have changed this year. I am really bummed however that it is still dark out when I get up, it makes it really hard to get motivated!
Happy Birthday Alison Saltzmann! We celebrated Ali's birthday by surprising her at Red Robin. It was a great time to just sit back and chat, we all needed some girl time. Jenny I'll spare you the funny pic of you.... just this time though :)
Top pic: The Group, Kimber always brings out the kid in me, that was a 40 on Kimber's forehead. Bottom pic: Ali indulging in the box of Junior Mints and pamper package we got her.
I finished Joey's quilt yesturday. I know I have lots of other projects to post but Ihad to get this up to show my sister because I suck and I couldn't wait until we went down there for her to see it. I promise I will put up pics of the curtains, pillows and other quilts I have done when I get a free moment.
Everyone's heard of a loveless marriage. Well, what about a childless marriage. The hardest part about this whole no child thing is that Dennis and I have so much love for each other and for a child and there is nothing we can do to fill the void we are feeling right now. I really do feel like someone is missing and I don't know what more to do. Sometimes I think, if I only had more faith or if I prayed really hard, God would give me my baby. I hear about these children being abandoned and killed everyday on the news and it breaks my heart to know that someone else was given a chance to have joy and they took advantage of their precious gift. I was over at Nicole and Josh's last night and I was watching Josh with Tyler and how he was just going on giggling and laughing and then I started thinking about how much a great father Dennis would be and that he may never get the chance to do so. Why does this have to happen to us. High school sweethearts who really looked forward to getting married and having a family. I know God laughs at our plans but I planned on getting the opportunity to make up for my childhood and be a great parent to my child and enjoying that blessing with my eternal companion. It scares me to death to try to do this whole adoption thing. I feel like we are never going to get a baby, like it is going to take forever. I know I just need to be patient but it's hard to do when you want something so bad. There is great joy in looking into the eyes of a child and seeing their innocence. And I want the joy of looking into the eyes of a precious child that God has made just for us.
God plans adoptions from Heaven And he searches the world...you see for people who long to be parents People like Daddy & Me
Then, in his own time, he answers Th prayer they've been praying so long And he finds a child who is waiting to fill their lives with a song
You are the child who we prayed for So special, so precious, so sweet The one who we'll cherish forever The one who makes our life complete.
Yesturday, I was given the opportunity to attend a Rainbows training in Romeoville. I volunteered to be a part of the group at our school. The group helps children dealing with the grief from a loss of a parent, divorce, parental addiction or other situtations that cause children to hold their feelings inside. We learned how to be active listeners rather than wanting to offer a way to fix it. We did a lot of situational group work and some people talked about some issues they never dealt with from their childhood as we were working through the last activity as adults rather than role playing as children. It was a very empowering day. I left feeling like I could save the world.
Before we left we were given a Rainbows pin to wear on our lanyard as well as a commitment to compassion. This is what it reads
Today, I welcome children, adolescents and adults who are grieving into my heart.
I commit to support them through their journey from hurt to healing.
I promise to listen with my heart without making judgements.
I will refrain from giving advice or platitudes, for there are no answers to loss.
I wish to instill in them the seeds of healing and acceptance for these gifts bring hope to the bereaved.
I want to be a guide to the discovery of how truly special and lovable each person is.
I will wipe away the tears of those who mourn so that they may be able to see the bright
September for me went out with a bang. I spent the last night of the month is Chicago at Joes Bar with LeAnn Rimes!!! I have been a fan since she started out like 13 years ago. We were so close to the stage, 4 people away to be exact, heard some great music, and GOT HER AUTOGRAPH!!!! I really enjoyed myself. She is a very sweet person and so cute. Her voice is amazing. Her song What I Cannot Change is amazing. It's a theme song to some of the issues of my life, I will learn to let go of what I cannot change I will learn to forgive what I cannot change, I will learn to forget what I cannot change. I will learn to love what I cannot change. My family life, our conceiving issues and my forgiveness problems are totally defined by this song!