Happy Valentines Day!

Wednesday Words of Wisdom

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

D Day

Friday is the day! I am so excited but trying not to let myself get to excited and I am grateful for the strength the Lord has given me.

Round Two

I didn't blog about my first round of I.V.F and I wish I would have so I could look back on it. So now that I am starting round two, I wanted to document my thoughts. I am three days in on my shots and set for retrieval on Valentines Day. I am excited to try again but am a little nervous about being let down. Last round after learning we miscarried, it was very emotionally straining on me and I am a little nervous about going through it all again. I am trying to remain positive that this will be our lucky month and we will get our little bundle of joy!

$ome dolla$ $aved

Jewel has been having these deals lately where an item is $1.75 when you purchase 4. I have done 3 trips so far with coupons for the cereal. This weekend, I got 4 coupons for 2/$2 skippy, making it $1 a jar....not bad for food storage stock up considering a jar is normally around $3. So grand total spent this trip was $20.....total saved was $29...can you believe these 16 items would have cost me $50! I just love saving more than I spent!

Winter Blues

Today I have a very strong desire to put my house on the market and move somewhere warm! This cold weather gets to me every year and it seems to get worse each time. I think its time for a change!

Happy Tuesday!

This Year I Will Resolute to....

I heard on the radio that people are 85% more likely to follow through on a resolution if they write it down so here goes. Here are a few goals for 2011

1. Build a closer relationship to the Lord

2. Read my scriptures every day

3. Pray more

4. Become financially fit

5. Scrapbook more (digital)

6. Take more time for myself

7. Create more

I think that is a good place to start for now.

Struggles slow the Stride

Its a brand new year and with that comes a new church time. This year we meet from 1-4pm and I absolutely despise it! My Sunday afternoon bread making or nap or simply lounging around is completely cut out. 2 years ago when we had this time Dennis and I found ourselves sleeping until 11, getting ready for church and then heading out for the day. It makes Sundays feel so rushed and they go by so quickly. So to no avail, yesterday came and I really really didn't want to go to church. Like really really didn't want to go. I asked Dennis is we could just go for first hour and then come home. He said we will see.

So off to church we went and I was in a crabby mood. All I kept thinking was why do we have to go to church so late in the day and was really just there to be there so I could finish sacrament and go home.

After listening to the testimonies my attitude changed and I was reminded of why we go to church and why it is so important to go every week, spiritual strength to get us through the week.

I can say that I have been blessed to have a better perspective on things while going through the struggles that I have had over the last few years. Yes what I am going through really stinks but I have had the opportunity to learn so much and to grow so much spiritually. Through my struggles I have slowed things down and seen things that I would have otherwise passed by, the realization of things through talks with friends and the gratitude for others who take time out to make sure I am doing ok has forever touched my heart. While I know there is a reason for everything I am getting a little anxious as to the reason we haven't been blessed with children yet. Notice how I say, yet. I know we will have children one day as both of our patriarchal blessings say so. This has just been a test of Faith and my ability to trust that the Lord will provide.

I am reminded of a quote from a friend.....true strength is being able to hold it together when everyone expects you to fall apart. While I haven't completely fallen apart, I have continued to remain "pieced" together through the strength that the Lord has provided to me and wonderful friends he has placed in my life.

So as I start 2011 off on a good note, I am optimistic that this year will bring so many blessings to my life. I will try to remain positive in light of the negative and I will try to do better in staying closer to the Lord this year.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who carries my burdens when they are to hard to bare. I am thankful for the Gospel on Jesus Christ in my life and the opportunity that I have to live with it in my life. I am thankful for great friends and a loving and uplifting husband. I am thankful for opportunities to learn and grow. I am thankful that the struggles that I have endured has slowed by strides through life so that I could stop and see the true beauty around me. I have a testimony of the Gospel that God lives and loves us and is present in our daily lives and if we do all that we can do he will pour His blessings upon us. I know that if I continue to life worthily and faithfully, the Lord will provide all the desires of my heart in His time.

I say these things humbly in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Merry Christmas 2010

I am very happy to write this letter and get 2010 out of here! This last year was a bit of a challenge and wasn't really all to exciting. I guess I am just happy to get a fresh start in 2011 and make it the best year yet! So sit back and enjoy the ride as you read about the challenging year that we have had, I promise I will try to remain positive in light of all of the negative. I was able to get a way for a girls weekend in Galena Illinois in January. I had a wonderful time with my girlfriends shopping, getting pedis and having late night talks. The end of my trip however led to 5 months of pneumonia that 5 different meds couldn't seem to kick. I felt like I was sick for an eternity!

In April, I was informed that my position as Intervention Specialist was to be eliminated due to extreme budget cuts in our district. I had the opportunity to have various interviews but the Lord had better plans and brought me back to a thought I had had in the back of my mind for almost a year. The job market for teachers didn't look very promising so I decided to start my own business and open Little Orckids Preschool. Within a few weeks of this decision, I had a number of families signed up to start in the fall and I knew this was the path I was to take. I was excited to work from home and I must say I am still happy with this decision. In May, Dennis and I had the chance to go to our first ever Cubs game. Sad I know, we have lived in Chicago all our lives and we just now got around to seeing the Cubs play.

June brought much excitement and hopes that 2010 was going to become a better year. We started fertility treatments after 5 years of trying to start our family, Dennis was offered a job doing commercial pest control with Orkin and I started a summer job as a nanny. One of my all time favorite jobs for summertime. I had fun going to Chicago, getting into an accident in a cab, hanging out at the water park with friends, visiting Legoland, bowling, playing mini golf and relaxing. In July, I attended Girls Camp in Indiana for my third year. Our Stake picked a new camp site this year and it was great. I volunteered to take our Pathfinder and haul the trailer, a first experience of trailer driving for me.....it was a little scary at first but we made it there and home safely. My sister, her fiancée & my nephew moved in with us during this time. They relocated to Northern Illinois in hopes of finding a better life up here. It has been nice watching my nephew grow and sharing his firsts, like walking this past week!

August was a busy blur. The day after I returned from camp, Dennis & I went to a Bon Jovi concert at Solider Field This was the first time in our married life we have gone to a concert together and it was our first & only date night since June as Dennis has been extremely busy with work. Our seats were so high up, we had a great few of Navy Pier. Fast forward 2 days later to Sunday.....we attended the wedding of my cousin Anthony and his gorgeous bride, Elise. The ceremony was very nice and the reception was alot of fun.

The next morning I left to go spend a week with my cousins at my grandparents house. It was nice to just lay around and visit but I was happy to come home and sleep in my own bed, plus two weeks away from the hubby was starting to make me miss him. That next week, Little Orkids Preschool opened its doors to 7 anxious children. In barbeque business news, That's Barbeque was introduced to a slew of restaurants this summer and picked up by a few stores. Dennis has taken a lot of time to get the business to a great point this year an we look forward to its growth in 2011.

We celebrated 5 years together in September with sushi and a stroll around downtown Wheaton, started our first round on IVF in November that led to a miscarriage. We have plans in January to jump back on the IVF bandwagon and try again. We stayed local and spent Thanksgiving & Christmas with family. Although this year has brought many challenges to our family we have keep our faith in the Lord that he has a plan for us. It has been hard to come to the realization that its all in the His time. He has done a wonderful job in tuning my patience this year and I know even Miracles take a little time.

We look forward to a better & brighter 2011 and hope that is the year that our dreams come true.

Wishing you & yours a Merry Christmas & a Happy healthy New Year!

Happy Birthday Dennis

Last Tuesday we celebrated Dens birthday. We went to Maggianos for dinner with the family for dinner that night. Dennis wanted to make sure this years birthday wasn't forgotten as I had to call 911 the day before his birthday to have him rushed to the ER. He was woken up early in the morning to a noise. I went out to check on him because I heard a groan. I found him hunched over the kitchen sink. He was breathing but not responding to me. I laid him on the floor and tried to get his attention. His eyes were bulging and he was staring off into space. I kept saying Dennis are you ok? Finally I got a "I can't hear you" from him. I ran to grab my sister to help me. This was the scariest point in my life thus far and I don't want another one.....as I called 911 I was holding back to tears but my adrenaline was going so fast I found it hard to dial the numbers and even find the words to answer the dispatchers questions. The paramedics arrived within seconds of the call and we rode off to the hospital in the ambulance. Before I had gotten in the ambulance I called Dennis' mom to meet me at the hospital because I didn't want to face this alone.

It is about 4:45 am and we are getting settled in the room and in walks Dens entire family all worried about him. Needless to say the Dr said he just had a fainting spell also know as Syncope. They did an EKG & ran some blood work just to make sure all was well.

We walked out to the hospital at 6:15 with that diagnosis not a clue to why he passed out in the first place. Of course this left me freaking out for the next couple of days following this incident that something was wrong with him and this was going to happen again.

So for his birthday, I was just thankful that he is here with us still and it was nothing major.

Gingerbread Houses

Tonight we built gingerbread houses with Tonya & Gary. This was a first ever for me, I have never made a gingerbread house before and now I know why......the icing is horrible to maneuver. The nice little white blob in the front on the house would be from my bag of icing exploding so I decided to add candy and call it a patio.....over all it was a fun activity.

Super Couponer Strikes Again!

It has been a while since I have done a super coupon deal but I couldn't resist this one....I got 14 boxes of cereal for $1.64! No that is not a typo....$1.64. I love getting deals like these.

5 Years Together....

And still in love!

We celebrated our 5th anniversary by going to Sushi Mono in Wheaton (which was amazing!), took a stroll through Adams Park and did some goal setting next to a dimly lit fountain, and finished the night at the movies seeing Salt (which was very good). It was nice to have some time together to talk and catch up on things.

Here's to an eternity more!

We got the Spicy Salmon, Ecstacy & Crunchy Melt rolls, all were very yummy! Our appetizer was asparagus beef rolls (AMAZING) and Edamame. We will be going back!

It only took 5 years but........

I have finally gotten my KitchenAid that I have been asking Dennis for, for the last 5 years! My grandparents sold us their barely used one for a great price. Dennis asked me to make him some homemade bread, receipe compliments of my friend Jen. I decided to make my homemade mac n cheese to go with that yummy french bread. I can't wait to make cookies, cupcakes and of course more bread!!!!!

I am having a very difficult week...so what does one do when they are having a difficult week? Well, go to the temple of course. I have never had such a burning desire to go to the temple before until this week. It was our ward temple night on Friday night and it has been on my calendar and has been on my mind all week. Whenever I found myself down this week I said to myself, I need to go to the temple, I need to go to the temple. So lastnight I went to the temple with a full heart and I poured it all out to my Father In Heaven and I asked him to make my burden light.

The coolest thing happened last night and it was a very awesome spiritual experience. I have not been feeling very close to the Lord lately and I haven't been feeling the spirit very much. This has been very hard on me because I have felt alone and unguided at a time where I need our Heavenly Father more than ever. Before I got to the temple I said a prayer that I would be able to feel the spirit and know that I am not alone. For the purpose of keeping things sacred I am not going to go into detail but there was a point that I was reminded of my great grandmother, tears came to my eyes as I felt the spirit overwhelm me and then I was we were walking to one of the rooms, I saw an elderly woman come out of a room that looked exactly like my great grandmother, I had to do a double take, then again I felt the spirit again.

I left the temple feeling at peace. My Heavenly Father is aware of me and he is right there going through this with me. There must be some big lesson I am supposed to learn from all of this and slowly I am learning but I can't wait for my miracle to be in my arms. For now I will think about my baby being up there with our Father in Heaven waiting to come meet his parents.

I Just Want to be a Mommy!

Infertility SUCKS! It is even more difficult when friend after friend has baby after baby and you are left with empty arms. Next month marks our 4 year mark of trying to become parents....I really didn't think it would take this long. We have been working with our fertility specialist Dr. Binor out of Copley for almost a year and I absolutely adore the man! We started doing treatments in June of this year after years of just trying and waiting and talking about adoption. I just had an appointment with him a few weeks ago and he would like to move on to IVF. It scares me just because of all the meds you have to be on and having to go under to remove my eggs. I used to be afraid of doctors, needles and the thought of going under. When we first started this "infertility journey" I told myself I would not undergo IVF. Now 4 years later I am ready to go but a little nervous. It is funny how wanting something so bad makes you change the way you feel about it! The crappy thing about this whole situation is that I lost my job back in June, the job with killer almost to good to be true insurance that covered everything. Well Dennis new job offers insurance. However, said job's insurance does not cover infertility treatments, meaning I have to take Cobra from my previous employer totalling a whopping $500 a month just for me! Really! Why is this fair? Did we ask to not be able to have children the conventional way? Why do we have to pay oddles and oddles of money just to have a child of our own? There should be some relief given here, its not our fault.
So for the past 4 years, I have been a big emotional grump who is jealous of any pregnant woman that comes into my radius. I am hit with struggle after struggle to become a parent and sometimes I ask myself if I am ever going to get that chance? I just want to be a mommy!

Bon Jovi, My Cousins wedding & A Week with Cousins

Bride & Groom

My Aunts & I

Cousins

Grandma & I

Me, Grandma & Aunt Trish

Bon Jovi

Representing the Hawks!

The cousins

...This blog apparently needs and update on what I have been up to lately. I feel as if summer has just started but somehow it is coming to end. I seriously don't know where in the world the time has gone! So it may appear that I have done nothing eventful this summer but alas, I have done it in true Tara fashion, cramming it all in at once! On July 30th, just a day after returning from girls camp, Dennis and I went to the Bon Jovi concert @ Soldier Field. This was the first time in our married life we have gone to a concert together and it was our first & only date night in July as Dennis has been extremely busy with work. Matter of fact, I think it was the only time in July that we got to a have a conversation that didn't involve falling asleep mid sentence! Our seats were so high up, we had a great few of Navy Pier. I LOVE the city at night. Bon Jovi put on a great show and it was nice to spend time with my hubby for a change.

Fast forward 2 days later to Sunday.....we attended the wedding of my cousin Anthony and his gorgeous bride, Elise. The ceremony was very nice and the reception was alot of fun.

The next morning I left to go spend a week with my cousins at my grandparents house. It was nice to just lay around and visit but I was happy to come home and sleep in my own bed, plus two weeks away from the hubby was starting to make me miss him. So there you have it folks, proof that I have been up to something lately!

Girls Camp 2010

This last week I completed my third year at Girls Camp. This year we went to Lafayette Indiana. The camp was very nice and we had a very busy three days! Lots of spiritual experiences and lots of fun was had by our ward. Of course, it rained the last night, as it always does when we go to camp. We actually had to take all of our stuff down the night before and sleep in the dining hall since we had to be up and gone from camp before 7:30 so the rain was no big deal, it just haulted our camp fire, yellow feather ceremony and smores but being in the dining hall together was cozy and fun. My highlight of camp was running from shower to shower (in swimsuit) with Morgan trying to get a hot water because we showered on night after everyone else did! We also met Sister Taylor from Joilet 1 ward sho is down right hilarious. She should be a comedian. During dinner she had me almost choke from how hard I was laughing as she was telling stories. It was a great time! Can't wait till next year.....rumor has it we are going to the same camp.

Preschool Table

I bought this adorable table today for my preschool. I am thinking about buying a second one. I scored this beauty for $50 on Amazon. They have an easel that matches for just $35 that will be my next purchase.