Struggles slow the Stride

Its a brand new year and with that comes a new church time. This year we meet from 1-4pm and I absolutely despise it! My Sunday afternoon bread making or nap or simply lounging around is completely cut out. 2 years ago when we had this time Dennis and I found ourselves sleeping until 11, getting ready for church and then heading out for the day. It makes Sundays feel so rushed and they go by so quickly. So to no avail, yesterday came and I really really didn't want to go to church. Like really really didn't want to go. I asked Dennis is we could just go for first hour and then come home. He said we will see.

So off to church we went and I was in a crabby mood. All I kept thinking was why do we have to go to church so late in the day and was really just there to be there so I could finish sacrament and go home.

After listening to the testimonies my attitude changed and I was reminded of why we go to church and why it is so important to go every week, spiritual strength to get us through the week.

I can say that I have been blessed to have a better perspective on things while going through the struggles that I have had over the last few years. Yes what I am going through really stinks but I have had the opportunity to learn so much and to grow so much spiritually. Through my struggles I have slowed things down and seen things that I would have otherwise passed by, the realization of things through talks with friends and the gratitude for others who take time out to make sure I am doing ok has forever touched my heart. While I know there is a reason for everything I am getting a little anxious as to the reason we haven't been blessed with children yet. Notice how I say, yet. I know we will have children one day as both of our patriarchal blessings say so. This has just been a test of Faith and my ability to trust that the Lord will provide.

I am reminded of a quote from a friend.....true strength is being able to hold it together when everyone expects you to fall apart. While I haven't completely fallen apart, I have continued to remain "pieced" together through the strength that the Lord has provided to me and wonderful friends he has placed in my life.

So as I start 2011 off on a good note, I am optimistic that this year will bring so many blessings to my life. I will try to remain positive in light of the negative and I will try to do better in staying closer to the Lord this year.

I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who carries my burdens when they are to hard to bare. I am thankful for the Gospel on Jesus Christ in my life and the opportunity that I have to live with it in my life. I am thankful for great friends and a loving and uplifting husband. I am thankful for opportunities to learn and grow. I am thankful that the struggles that I have endured has slowed by strides through life so that I could stop and see the true beauty around me. I have a testimony of the Gospel that God lives and loves us and is present in our daily lives and if we do all that we can do he will pour His blessings upon us. I know that if I continue to life worthily and faithfully, the Lord will provide all the desires of my heart in His time.

I say these things humbly in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.