Here we are the 9th of August and things are starting to settle down. Ok, not really thats just my way to calm down. My last day at Pointe is tomorrow and we leave for my parents house. I kind of don't want to go- I would rather sit down at home for a moment and be there for more than 5 minutes BUT my mother is in need of some help in the midst of her crisis (what else is new, I think this is crisis # 101)! For those who don't know (I think that included everone), my father has been sitting in jail for a little over three weeks now. Why? one would ask? Well let's just say it's another chapter in the "My family is so screwed up" book. He was dealing drugs, a.ka. pills, whatever you want to call them for my brother in law. Pretty much my dad went down for it and now he is kind of screwed and so is my mom. Long story made short- my mother has always relied on my grandmother to take care of her and her problems- hence the reason why she is moving out of the house that my grandmother is paying for and back in with my grandparents for like the umteenth time! Yes there are some unresolved issues from my childhood- some of which I am trying to let go, I really am but everytime I start to think my parents have changed- something else happens! Don't get me wrong I LOVE my parents but my bigges fear is that after my grandmother is no longer on this earth to take care of them I am going to be next in line. Now you have to understand, I don't mind helping people out, I actually feel bad for saying no at all BUT my mom will suck the life right out of ya. I'm just afraid that this gigantic burden will be put on me and I am going to have to say no- and feel bad about it but it will have to be done.
So for now, all I can do is offer a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.
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