Saturday, September 8, 2007

Letting go to become a better me


I must apologize for the negativety in my last blog entry. Life sure has taken the toll on us the last 6 months and I have managed to let it get the best of me. Today as I was driving home from my meeting at work, I felt a feeling of peace come over me. This was the first time in the last year that I had felt so amazing. I wanted to smile and call and talk to everyone I knew just to see how their day was going. I have decided to let go of everything that I had been holding onto that was making me a negative person. I just thought to myself that this isn't the type of person I am nor want to be. I am a happy kind and generous person. I needed to let go of the person I had become for the last few months and accept the fact that there are just things out my control that I can't change. This life is way to short to get down and depressed about the things that you can't have. Yes, I am crushed at the fact that Dennis and I won't be able to have children of our own or the fact that I have felt like I don't have any friends, feeling like I was left out of everything because I couldn't connect with others that had children and for a while I was looking at the negative instead of the positive. For example- I will never have to get fat, I don't have to sacrife my boobs! I will never have morning sickness, I will never have swollen feet. I will never have to go through all of those dr. visits where they poke you with needles and of course best of all I will never have to go through the pain of labor! But we are able to adopt of child that we can give just as much love to.

Through this whole ordeal, I am thankful for all of the things I do have like a loving husband and a caring family and a Heavenly Father that makes me realize that there is more to life that what I have been looking at.

So here goes.... I am letting go of everything mentioned and unmentioned that I have let hurt me.....

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