Baby blues

Everyone's heard of a loveless marriage. Well, what about a childless marriage. The hardest part about this whole no child thing is that Dennis and I have so much love for each other and for a child and there is nothing we can do to fill the void we are feeling right now. I really do feel like someone is missing and I don't know what more to do. Sometimes I think, if I only had more faith or if I prayed really hard, God would give me my baby. I hear about these children being abandoned and killed everyday on the news and it breaks my heart to know that someone else was given a chance to have joy and they took advantage of their precious gift. I was over at Nicole and Josh's last night and I was watching Josh with Tyler and how he was just going on giggling and laughing and then I started thinking about how much a great father Dennis would be and that he may never get the chance to do so. Why does this have to happen to us. High school sweethearts who really looked forward to getting married and having a family. I know God laughs at our plans but I planned on getting the opportunity to make up for my childhood and be a great parent to my child and enjoying that blessing with my eternal companion. It scares me to death to try to do this whole adoption thing. I feel like we are never going to get a baby, like it is going to take forever. I know I just need to be patient but it's hard to do when you want something so bad. There is great joy in looking into the eyes of a child and seeing their innocence. And I want the joy of looking into the eyes of a precious child that God has made just for us.


God plans adoptions from Heaven
And he searches the world...you see
for people who long to be parents
People like Daddy & Me

Then, in his own time, he answers
Th prayer they've been praying so long
And he finds a child who is waiting to fill their lives with a song

You are the child who we prayed for
So special, so precious, so sweet
The one who we'll cherish forever
The one who makes our life complete.