Crafts

I have been busy crafting and here are a few things I have been up to.....






Here's a run down of the projects.
1. I made blocks for both of my sisters and their husbands with their last names
2. A family plate that I have put in our dining room, I should have taken a pic there
3.family blocks I made for the fireplace
4. The front of a quilt that I started back in May, I hope to have it finished by the end of the year. (I still need to sew the blocks together!)

Twilight

Den & I went to see Twilight tonight and I must say I liked the movie better than I thought I was going to. Bella's house was just the way I pictured it and they did a good job at picking Emmett's character. They did not do a good job at the chemistry between Bella and Edward, while reading the book, you get this build up of chemistry between the two and I was disappointed at the movie from that angle. Bella didn't have the heart throbing display when Edward touched her like she did in the book. There was also alot of humor as well. I missed some of the part where Bella goes to the Cullens, I had to pee so bad!!!!! The scene where Edward took Bella out of his window and up a tree was awesome. I was a little disappointed because they left out alot of detail but I know the movie was already 2 hours long. I can't wait until the next movie comes out, I heard a rumor that it is going to be New Moon and Eclipse combined..... we'll just have to wait and see.

In honor of tomorrow night.......

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Thankful Thursday

This week, I am thankful for snow pants, gloves and hats! It is flippin freezing here!

Thankful Thursday

Got this idea off of a friends blog (thanks Erica). I am going to post something I am thankful for every Thursday. So this week I am thankful for my job and being able to work in such a great place with such awesome people!

Numbness

So I stayed home from work today because I just haven't been feeling like myself or been feeling 100%. I have had alot of stuff going on and I just feel numb. I guess it's because I have held everything inside and haven't talked to anyone about anything because that's just the type of person I am. Yesturday afternoon and tonight I received 2 phone calls from two women who serve in YW with me. They were calling to check on me because apparently I haven't been acting myself lately and they were just concerned. i just nudgeed it off as I was fine just dealing with a lot of stuff and wasn't feeling well. How come I get someone who I could possibly start talking to about my issues and I just try to play it off as I am fine. Am I ever going to be just fine? Am I ever going to stop feeling so numb about the fact that Dennis and I can't have children of our own? I am tired of feeling like I am not worthy enough or that I'm not good enough or I did something wrong to deserve this. Why would God make me a person who loves children a person who would make an awesome mom and then not give me that opportunity when there are people out there neglecting this great gift from God, people hurting even killing their children. It's just too hard to grasp and actually comprehend. So for now I will just go about life pretending that everything is o.k.

Nine days... and I have tickets!!!

Twilight comes out in 9 more days and I bought my tix off of Fandango.com three days ago! I am really excited for the movie to come out. I even talked Dennis into going to see it with me.

Weekend with Joey

Grandma & Grandpa got Den and I camies for our birthdays. I am also wearing a bday cake hat that my soon to be bro in law gave to me.

Needless to say, I hogged him all weekend

Doesn't he look like a natural?

Joey chilllin on his new blankie

Joey & I did alot of this over the weekend. I loved laying him on my chest and falling asleep. He is so cuddly and a very sleepy little boy.

It was a great weekend. There was some drama (of course). We laid around being lazy and visited with each other. We had Tiff's baby shower on Saturday and then went out for a family dinner. We drove up to ISU Sunday to pick up Joseph and visit with Andrea, barely making it in the door before midnight. Needless to say, I am exhausted and really looking forward to my birthday tomorrow and being able to do whatever I want!!!

A new do

Updated fall look....

the hair is back to being straight again and I have added some blonde and very subtle

red highlights. I think I am going to go darker on the red next time. This isn't the best picture either but that's all ya get.

This weather sucks

Yes, ladies and gents, those are snow clouds and yes it snowed here today. I really hate it when it snows BEFORE my birthday ugh!

Now Joey's blankie is done

A blankie is not complete until it is personalized, thanks to the a co- worker and her handy dandy embroidery machine.

I did it!

So I went to the doc today for my long over due physical. I lost some sleep lastnight worried about having to get my blood taken. For those who don't know, I am a major baby when it comes to blood and needles, can't believe there was a point in life that I wanted to be a Dr., Lord knows I wouldn't have survived! So I got off work early and went up to Geneva to my appt. and was informed that they just needed to prick my finger, allelujah!! I had even worked up my courage on the way there and didn't even feel sick before finding out that I wouldn't have to get a needle jabbed into my arm and sit there while they take my precious blood. Needless or needless to day, I was totally fine with the finger prick but a little bummed that I couldn't get my flu shot because I have a slight fever and my doc, suggested not getting it today because I had been feeling a little under the weather. I guess it's a good thing I'm not Bella! lol :)

This about sums it up.....

I know that God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
I'm glad someone has faith in me (gulp)

Happy Fall Ya'll

My favorite season is here and I am so surprised at how fast the leaves have changed this year. I am really bummed however that it is still dark out when I get up, it makes it really hard to get motivated!

Happy 40th ALI !!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Alison Saltzmann! We celebrated Ali's birthday by surprising her at Red Robin. It was a great time to just sit back and chat, we all needed some girl time. Jenny I'll spare you the funny pic of you.... just this time though :)

Top pic: The Group, Kimber always brings out the kid in me, that was a 40 on Kimber's forehead. Bottom pic: Ali indulging in the box of Junior Mints and pamper package we got her.

It's finished!!!!!!!!

I finished Joey's quilt yesturday. I know I have lots of other projects to post but Ihad to get this up to show my sister because I suck and I couldn't wait until we went down there for her to see it. I promise I will put up pics of the curtains, pillows and other quilts I have done when I get a free moment.

Baby blues

Everyone's heard of a loveless marriage. Well, what about a childless marriage. The hardest part about this whole no child thing is that Dennis and I have so much love for each other and for a child and there is nothing we can do to fill the void we are feeling right now. I really do feel like someone is missing and I don't know what more to do. Sometimes I think, if I only had more faith or if I prayed really hard, God would give me my baby. I hear about these children being abandoned and killed everyday on the news and it breaks my heart to know that someone else was given a chance to have joy and they took advantage of their precious gift. I was over at Nicole and Josh's last night and I was watching Josh with Tyler and how he was just going on giggling and laughing and then I started thinking about how much a great father Dennis would be and that he may never get the chance to do so. Why does this have to happen to us. High school sweethearts who really looked forward to getting married and having a family. I know God laughs at our plans but I planned on getting the opportunity to make up for my childhood and be a great parent to my child and enjoying that blessing with my eternal companion. It scares me to death to try to do this whole adoption thing. I feel like we are never going to get a baby, like it is going to take forever. I know I just need to be patient but it's hard to do when you want something so bad. There is great joy in looking into the eyes of a child and seeing their innocence. And I want the joy of looking into the eyes of a precious child that God has made just for us.


God plans adoptions from Heaven
And he searches the world...you see
for people who long to be parents
People like Daddy & Me

Then, in his own time, he answers
Th prayer they've been praying so long
And he finds a child who is waiting to fill their lives with a song

You are the child who we prayed for
So special, so precious, so sweet
The one who we'll cherish forever
The one who makes our life complete.

What a stud

Joey is so stinking cute, I really can't wait to go see him.
I am counting down the days, only 15 to go!

RAINBOWS

Yesturday, I was given the opportunity to attend a Rainbows training in Romeoville. I volunteered to be a part of the group at our school. The group helps children dealing with the grief from a loss of a parent, divorce, parental addiction or other situtations that cause children to hold their feelings inside. We learned how to be active listeners rather than wanting to offer a way to fix it. We did a lot of situational group work and some people talked about some issues they never dealt with from their childhood as we were working through the last activity as adults rather than role playing as children. It was a very empowering day. I left feeling like I could save the world.

Before we left we were given a Rainbows pin to wear on our lanyard as well as a commitment to compassion. This is what it reads

Today, I welcome children, adolescents and adults who are grieving into my heart.

I commit to support them through their journey from hurt to healing.

I promise to listen with my heart without making judgements.

I will refrain from giving advice or platitudes, for there are no answers to loss.

I wish to instill in them the seeds of healing and acceptance for these gifts bring hope to the bereaved.

I want to be a guide to the discovery of how truly special and lovable each person is.

I will wipe away the tears of those who mourn so that they may be able to see the bright

RAINBOW

after their family's storm.

The Best Night of my LIFE!!!!!

September for me went out with a bang. I spent the last night of the month is Chicago at Joes Bar with LeAnn Rimes!!! I have been a fan since she started out like 13 years ago. We were so close to the stage, 4 people away to be exact, heard some great music, and GOT HER AUTOGRAPH!!!! I really enjoyed myself. She is a very sweet person and so cute. Her voice is amazing. Her song What I Cannot Change is amazing. It's a theme song to some of the issues of my life, I will learn to let go of what I cannot change I will learn to forgive what I cannot change, I will learn to forget what I cannot change. I will learn to love what I cannot change. My family life, our conceiving issues and my forgiveness problems are totally defined by this song!